Where's my Government Subsidy!

I too wish the benevolent hand of government largess would visit me.  Subsidies, bailouts, and friendly handshakes as the taxes of the minions are redirected into my coffers.

Why shouldn't I with my friendly neighborhood politician be able to run a business model solely predicated on how much I can extort out of the public?

Why care about customer relations, effective management, cost-controls, and all those petty matters, when I can have a member of the legislative branch simply re-write the laws so I don't have to pay taxes, don't have to concern myself about environmental or labor laws, and don't have to worry about those things that all those small people have to.

Banks, energy companies, utilities, telecommunications, military industrial, surveillance state, big pharma, private education, corporate agriculture,... etc, all feeding handsomely at the trough.